"Yes, you see, a thousand years earthly time, being exactly a day of heavenly time, then of course a year of earthly time is only just a shade over a minute of heavenly time; and if you don't keep these facts in mind you are naturally bound to think Providence is procrasturating when it's just the other way. It's on accounts of this ignorance that many and many a person has got the idea that prayer ain't ever answered, and stuck to it to his dying day; whereas, prayer is always answered. Take praying for rain, f'rinstance. The prayer comes up; Providence reflects a minute, judges it's all right, and says to the Secatry of State, "Turn it on." Down she comes, in a flood. But don't do any good of course, becuz it's a year late. Providence reflecting a minute has made all the trouble, you see. If people would only take the Bible at its word, and reconnize the difference betwixt heavenly time and earthly time, they'd pray for rain a year before they want it, and then they'd be all right. Prayer is always answered, but not inside of ayear, becuz Providence has got to have a minute to reflect. Otherwise, there'd be mistakes, on account of too much hurry."
- — Mark Twain, Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven
"And you bring those kinds of things up to a Christian, and it's funny: they'll just kind of wave their hands and they'll whip out their "Get out of the Old Testament Free" cards and they'll say "Well, that's just the Old Testament. It's not like that anymore.""
- — Martin Wagner, The Atheist Experience, Oct. 21, 2007 @ 45:23
Since I've been mentioned twice on The Non-Prophets, and that my username has been mispronounced as "aren-ess-bee" both times, I thought I'd mention that the preferred pronunciation is with two syllables: "air-inz-b" (not "-bee").