From Iron Chariots Wiki
Good start to an article, but a few suggestions:
- By convention, there is a brief description of the topic before any section headings begin.
- I'm not sure that this "Make a claim - put a rebuttal in a box" format is good for this type of topic. You might want to consider having the first section be a brief factual description of the practice of fasting; the second section be claims about the benefits of fasting; section three be "counter-apologetics" responses all in one go.
--Kazim 00:21, 9 March 2007 (CST)
- I noticed that nobody reacted to my comment five months ago by actually changing the article, so I took the liberty myself. I didn't work too hard on getting the new version to read smoothly, so I hope someone will come along and clean up after me. Overall, I'd like to see a reduction in exclamation points and emphasized words, in favor of a more objective and clinical tone. Also, can we get any references to places where this practice is commanded, maybe? --Kazim 08:41, 1 August 2007 (CDT)