Kissing Hank's Ass
From Iron Chariots Wiki
Kissing Hank's Ass is a satirical dialogue written by Jim Huber. It tells the story of a man who receives a visit from two missionaries.
Hank is the deity of this new religion. Hank allegedly dictated the following to Karl:
From the Desk of Karl
1. Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town. 2. Use alcohol in moderation. 3. Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you. 4. Eat right. 5. Hank dictated this list Himself. 6. The moon is made of green cheese. 7. Everything Hank says is right. 8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom. 9. Don't use alcohol. 10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments. 11. Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.