User:Daskraut

prophecy
i am a prophet. i speak with the authority of a prophet. take this as a sign that i'm speaking the truth: next sunday you will watch the livestream of the atheist experience. people will call in and talk to the hosts. after the show he hosts will go out for dinner. not all of the team will join but matt's steak will be juicy and delicious. i recommend fries on the side. you will also listen to the non-prophets every other saturday and you will enjoy it.

i have a message from god's father karl-heinz to you. thus sayeth the lord's father, the almightier-than-god karl-heinz:

"i do apologize for letting my son mess up his game of sim city this badly. i should never have allowed him to play it at his very young age of 15,000 years. as soon as i come home from work i'll give him a right kicking and straighten things out for you. god maybe almighty, but i am almightier. i have root access and i know the cheat codes. unfortunately i don't have access to god's computer from my car – in my world i am not almighty and the vpn on my "i-pad maxi" (get it? GET IT? jaaaaaaa, now you got it!) crashed – so you'll have to wait a little bit. but i promise: on april 4th 2039, a quarter past 3pm all humans will be immortal, there will be no more disease, no more hunger and free gasoline and motorcycles for all. booze, smokes and pot will be for free, too. and there will be cake. this cake is not a lie, i'm not glados, i'm karl-heinz, the almightier father of god.

i also promise to block satan's account. i still wonder why i allowed my neighbour's son to access our home network! seems like he is a troll after all. oh and should you meet the flying spaghetti monster, tell him that it was me who changed his pasta sauce for mad dog .357, just to teach him to keep his noodly appendices away from my wife!" thus sayeth karl-heinz, god's almightier-than-god father.

god's father, the almightier-than-god karl-heinz, also says: "dear muslims. cut it out. if you don't stop butchering infidels and bombing other peoples' property right fucking now i'll give you 72 old catholic nuns instead of young virgins! i'm not bound by whatever my other spoiled son, allah, promised to you! also allah is grounded for a couple of centuries."

god's father, the almightier-than-god karl-heinz, also says: "dear cunt hovind, if my grandsonson jesus immanuel jeshua of nazareth and betlehem tells you to render unto caesar what belongs to fucking caesar you bloody well better pay your damn taxes!"

about myself


i is be a atheist from good old germany. daskraut. das kraut. kraut - get it? sure you do! you bombed our butts to bedrock last century. btw: thanks for that, i'd hate living under a nazi world gouvernment!

i was built and born in '74 in the beautiful city of nürnberg. you'd call that nuremberg. no, it's not bavaria, it's frankonia. if you want to piss me off big time, just call me bavarian!

i graduated what we call "gymnasium" in 1995. in germany we call that level "abitur". my graduation courses were biology, english, protestant theology (yes, we have that in our schools!) and math. don't call me a genius tho, i scored c- on average. barely made it...

from 95 to 97 i got job training as an office guy. since then i worked as office guy, truck driver (42-tonners), it-trainer, computer guy and nightguard.

i've been a christian for 18 years after i was prostitutelyzed (pun intended) by some other youths in the mid 90s. i've been a fundamentalist for the last 7 years of that. i went to a baptist church in southern germany - yes, we have that, too! - for the first 5 of those 7 years. during this time of maximum insanity i did a lot of damage by doing graphics, layout and webdesign work for a missionary and pastor, i also was the sound tech guy at the church i went to. i do sincerely apologize for that and i deeply regret it!

when i was disappointed by the church big time i moved away from that town, closer to my place of work which happened to be a christian juvenile detention center in free forms closely affiliated to pfi. i can't disclose any information on the facility so don't ask. i was their system admin, database dude, webmaster, helldesk guy and everything else computer. and the night guard. i do apologize for that, too, i sincerely do. mea maxima culpa! i'm an asshat.

after i moved away from that baptist church i continued to believe in god for 2 more years. i finally woke up in october 2009. no, i won't tell you what happened but i realized that there either is no god or he doesn't give a damn. in both cases: why should i bother? a year later i found the atheist experience and the non-prophets. i backwatched and -listened the entire archives. amazing! my favourite guys are jeff dee and ashley perrien. sorry, matt, but you come in third ;) my favourite girls on the shows are all of them girls. especially all of them! very. btw - i'm available, girls!

i'm not at all a scientist - lightyears from it! - but i'd still like to call yall "peers" and i call for yall to peer-review articles i post. check them, double-check them, correct them if they're flawed, expand them if there's more to say. let's all work together!

why i'm here
i currently am e-mail-debating my former pastor who moved to norway as a missionary. i'm going to share any significant analysiseseseseses and rebuttals here on the wiki but since i'm a kraut my english isn't the best so by all means - feel free to polish them up, add more information, add more and better sources, edit them mercilessly and kick my big fat butt whenever i'm wrong. my first article is on ezekiel's prophecy on tyre.

since there's no reason to not believe that quite a number of other germans and fellow europeans browse this site, too, i might at some point post articles about topics closely related to germany or europe. norway, you're currently being plagued by kornelius novak whom i know personally. i'll post something about him, too.

yeah, and my mob-farm currently produces ca. 11,250 - 11,500 items / hour. not bad, mates, ey?

cya and buy daskraut